


Cola Monster

by orphan_account



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Christmas Ship, Coca-Cola, Creating Life, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Evil Laughter, Eyepatch, Goo Person, Goo!Edd, Implied Relationships, M/M, Missions Gone Wrong, Monsters, Referenced Past, Referenced Sadism, Scene Gone Wrong, Science, Shipping, Unintelligent Lifeforms, YEAH SCIENCE!, clone, goo, implied romantic feelings, inventing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 18:57:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7118416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A long story made real short; Tord fucked up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cola Monster

“At long last,” He spoke, clutching his hands together. “once I add all these ingredients together, I’ll have my first clone.” A large, sadist grin arose to his face.

 

Tord was an inventor. He created mostly simple crafts that the simple-minded people found fascinating. At first, it was simple things like a pencil-sharpener, which, was obviously already invented. But his old one had broken so he needed to replace his old one. They were so expensive anyhow, so he saved himself at least 50$.

Or however they costed now, he rarely went out to buy things himself.

 

He knew he needed to step it up a notch, create something for a good cause. The cause being himself, of course. He needed something that would help him (hopefully) successfully take over the world again, after his original plan did not work out as he anticipated. Tord was only met with rage everytime he thought of that miserably dreadful day.

 

As it slowly dawned upon him; he could make an entire army of clones.

Nobody would be able to stand against them.

 

Sure, he might have gotten the idea from a few hundred movies, but he knew in his heart that it was a good idea. He just needed to **NOT** do what every villain in those acts of fiction did. He was smarter than that, after all. Much more.

 

The idea also emerged from a past memory from the time he and his (now **EX** ) friends were all cloned by some moron he couldn’t remember the name to. Not that it was important, but the idea was there. Then, Tord needed a muse for the clone.

 

He knew he had to make one first to see if it would work, and he knew just the person he could make it out of. A person he didn’t exactly hate with **ALL** his heart, but only some of it.

  
Edd.

 

At first, it seemed kinda creepy to make a clone out of someone you sort-of hated. But then it all made sense, because he had the material to make Edd. He knew this because he had something that was apart of Edd, something that was of his DNA.

  
A lock of his own hair.

 

Don’t ask how Tord got the hair or why he had it-- he refused to answer that question.

 

Tord didn’t know how much of it he needed, so he added the following ingredients; Edd’s hair, a whole can of cola, and a stem of broccoli. All of the little things that truly made Edd, Edd.

“Let’s just _hope_ this works.” Tord said softly to himself, as he poured the last bit of dark fizzy substance into the machine, deciding that he perhaps needed to add a second can; just to be sure. Although, if this was gonna fail he would most likely end up with a huge mess of soda, hair, and a stem of wet broccoli, which was not fun.

Not like he was gonna clean it up, he has people for that.

 

He hoped for the best as he pressed a big red button, the machine started to vibrate slowly, making a lot of beeping sounds in the process of doing so. That meant it was working.

 

That same sadist grin appeared back on Tord’s face as he began to chuckle. He could only ponder what he could do with this type of machinery.

 

Now, if only he invented something that could bring his eye back. That would be the end all, and he wouldn’t have to wear this eyepatch anymore. As cool as it looked, it was impractical. Plus, having a missing eye just reminded him all too much of someone…

 

He cringed at the thought.

 

Tord snapped out of thought as he realized the machine was beginning to overheat. It was shaking violently and panic rushed to his mind instantly.

 

“What the--” Tord spoke, trying to make his own invention stop.

 

The second he placed his hands on it, however, the machine was deadly hot and caused his hands to burn, he yelled out in pain in reply.

 

As the machine rattled, he braced for impact.

 

Then, the machine **EXPLODED** in a loud boom.

 

“ ** _FAEN_ **!” He screamed as he fell back onto his back.

  


Tord eventually came to, coughing as the smoke filled his lungs. The stench of failure hit him like an early morning train straight into an orphanage. He groaned as he blinked his only good eye and took a look around the room. There was a shadow in the distance on the floor in front of him, his back was against the wall. The smoke began to clear.

 

The young communist's eye shot open in shock as he saw what was in front of him.

 

Right in front of him, there was a dark colored, goo-y looking creature that resembled Edd. It appeared it looked like it was made entirely of cola. The creature was staring right at him with a confused look on it’s face, blinking once.

 

Tord wanted to scream, run away, or explode into thin air, but instead he looked at it.

 

Was this the clone? Did his clone idea go as planned?

 

The creature opened its mouth up slowly to speak. “T...Tooo... _Tord_.” It said, with a extremely strange and distorted voice. It resembled Edd’s. Suddenly the confused frown turned into a delightfully bubbly grin and it moved towards the man in question who had invented him.

  
A thousand questions rushed to Tord’s head at this very moment. “H- _Hva faen_?!” He yelled at the creature in his own throaty accent, but that didn’t stop it from moving.

 

The cola monster seemed to be crawling on it’s hands, but it’s legs looked like it had melted. ‘Edd’ stared at him with his mouth hanging open with starry eyes. “Tord!” It repeated, looking straight at him. Tord did not know what to say.

 

“Cola!” The goo beast spoke again, saying it like it was some sort of accomplishment. “Broccoli!” He squealed, voice was chirpy and peppy. Like Edd’s.

  
Without hesitation or letting Tord speak, the Edd clone slammed his lips right into Tord’s, kissing him. **HE REALLY DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS**.

 

He backed away, “ _Whoa."_  Tord expressed loudly, putting a hand up in a ‘back-off’ motion.

 

‘Edd’ did not seem to be put off by this, and tried to plant another kiss on him. Tord placed two fingers on his lips, feeling them. They were wet, and as he licked them, they tasted like cola.

 

It slowly begins to dawn upon him that this was infact his clone, and he definitely added too much cola. Resulting in a literal cola monster. Why the strange Edd-look-alike kissed him was another question in itself and was beyond his own compensation. This thing was sort of like Edd in it’s own way, he was bubbly, enthusiastic, _a little too friendly_ , and sounded like him. But he was certain that Edd wasn’t made of cola, no matter how much he drank it.

 

“...Edd?” The communist said softly.

 

“Tord!” The Edd monster repeated, throwing his hands into the air excitedly.

 

“Fascinating, it seems like you only know three words.” Tord acknowledged, noticing how he had only said his own name, ‘ _cola_ ’, and ‘ _broccoli_ ’. Which was a bit disappointing but he still made a clone! It’s a living being...made from cola.

 

The monster moved towards him and wrapped it’s arms around Tord, instantly Tord was very uncomfortable because he was goo-y and wet. He cooed a soft noise. “Tooord!” He bleated softly into his ear. Tord was getting really wet. Damn, cola is sticky. Why was this thing being so affectionate with him? If it’s Edd, shouldn’t he be fighting him right now?

 

...Maybe he should be a bit more thankful that wasn’t happening right now. Fighting a clone was horrible the first time he didn’t want to do it a second time.

 

“Cola.” The clone said simply.

Tord attempted to look away. “...Yes, cola.” He said softly.

 

This creature-- this thing. Was too much like Edd. He was originally planning on killing off the first clone, but this thing was Edd. Or, at the very least, was a part of him. It had his own DNA. So, it was like Edd in a little way. But looking at this goo-ball was reminding him of what had happened before.

 

‘ _I thought we were--I thought we were friends!_ ’

 

The words suddenly echoed in his mind. His heart sunk to his stomach. He looked down sadly, feeling his heart get weak. The creature looked at him with concern.

 

“...Tord?” ‘Edd’ softly spoke, watching the tears flow down his creator’s face.

 

Tord didn’t even know why he was crying right now, shouldn’t he be really happy that he was actually able to create a clone? Looks like he didn’t think about the emotional consequences very much. He sniffled as he looked at the look-alike, it fizzes softly, bubbles rising to the top of his face.

 

“H-Hi, Edd,” Tord choked. “I’m sorry.” He confessed, voice stammering.

 

The sticky creature did not know how to respond to this.

  
So he just quietly said ‘ _Tord_ ’ in a concerned voice again.

**Author's Note:**

> IM SORRY I HAVE A THING FOR GOO CHARACTERS AND TORDEDD,  
> i honestly try way to hard to make these sappy and i apologize for that,


End file.
